Part Four

The vibration of her phone on the nightstand was what woke her. Cane’s voice on the other end however brought her fully awake.

“Lily, I need you.”

“Cane, is it Sam?”

“Yeah...he spiked a fever earlier tonight and I -.”

Lily can here the small but surprisingly loud wail in the background and she knew immediately what Cane was asking for...asking of her...as she remembered how she was the only one who could calm the twins when they were sick as babies. “Hold on, I’m on my way.”

Cane let out a breath of relief. “Thank you.” 

Lily slipped through the entrance and walked  along the quiet hospital floors. Quickly she put on a gown and was still adjusting the ties when she entered the room to find a frazzled Cane pacing and rocking a continuously wailing Sam and a very sympathetic nurse.

The nurse gave Lily a pat on the shoulder and said softly, “I’ll leave you to it then.” Before closing the door quietly behind her.

“Lily, thank god you’re here. He won’t stop, for someone who is so tiny he -.”

Lily steps over to the chair opens the gown, undoes the first couple of buttons on her blouse and sits down. “Bring him over here Cane.” She holds out her arms as Cane approaches with Sam.

He lowers himself down, extending Sam in his arms. His eyes lock with Lily’s and for just a moment she hesitates and he wonders if he’s asked too much of her this time. 

“It’s okay Cane, I’m okay.”  Lily reaches the rest of the way and Cane gently places a still fussing Sam in her arms. Adjusting him she nestles his little body against hers and lowers his head over her heart. He chuffs and squirms a moment more before settling against Lily, she coos softly to him.

Cane stands back up and just watches them. God they just look so right together. 

Lily interrupts his train of thought with quiet words. “Cane you know how to do this, it was one of the first things they taught us when we held the twins.”

“I..I just it wasn’t working and..”

Lily gives a soft little laugh. “I know Cane and it’s okay I also remember how it never quite worked for you with Mattie and Charlie, your chest hair always tickled them and they could never quite settle down.”

At that Cane gives a soft chuckle himself. “I offered to wax it.”

“And you know I would have none of that.”

“I know, it’s still there.” Cane absently rubs at his chest drawing Lily’s gaze. He crouches down and gently places his hands on her knees. “He’s settled down now...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable I can put him back in his bed.”

Lily glances down at a sleeping Sam. “No it’s okay, this feels ummm..”

“Good?”

Lily took a deep breath and just says it. “I was going to say this feels...right.” Lily sighs while continuing to stroke little Sam’s back. “But it doesn’t mean it is...”

“It could be,” Cane replies.

“Cane, I -.”

Cane returns to a standing position, helping Lily to the same she takes a now soundly sleeping Sam and places him back in his little incubator. Turning back to Cane his eyes are drawn to her open blouse and he clears his throat. Lily glances down and quickly does her top back up.

“Sorry,” He mumbles as Lily turns back to gaze at a sleeping Sam. 

“It’s okay, not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 

“Lily...”

She turns to gaze at him over her shoulder. “What, it’s the truth after all.” She turns her head back towards Sam and utters quietly, “something your not very good at telling.”

Cane bends his head closer to her ear and says, “I know...but it’s something that I’m working really hard at changing.”

This gets Lily to turn completely around and face him fully, they are standing close enough that she has to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. “What do you mean?”

“Well it means after our first and only disastrous attempt at marriage counseling I kept going back on my own...I’ve been going to the therapist once a week for months now.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Well for one you never asked and I wasn’t sure you wanted to know...” Cane gives a little shrug of his shoulders, not sure what else to say but knowing honesty was key if they were going to continue to make any progress.

Lily turns back to look at Sam again. Perhaps it’s easier than facing Cane and the emotions he’s stirring up but also because she keeps finding herself drawn to the little boy. An ache and yearning that is so overwhelming and confusing that she can neither make heads or tails of it.

“Okay...well that’s good...that’s...” Lily swallows over the sudden lump in her throat.

He steps closer and places his hands on her shoulders. “A start?” Supplies Cane. 

“Yeah...”

Just then the nurse comes back in, she smiles and says, “oh I just knew mum would have the magic touch.” She comes over to check Sams monitors and to take his temperature.

“Oh he’s not -.”

Cane squeezes her shoulder stoping her. “Yes she has the magic touch indeed. Let us get out of your way while you examine him.” With his hand now at the small of her back, Cane escorts Lily from the room. 

Once outside the door Lily turns to him and says, “why didn’t you let me correct her?” 

Cane runs his hands through his hair, he moves away from her but only far enough to pace. “I didn’t want to!”

Lily getting agitated herself says, “so is this part of your new therapy in telling the truth?”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant!”

Her hands go to her hips. “Then what did you mean Cane?”

“I -. Ugh! I didn’t correct her because I wanted what she said to be true! I wish with everything in me that he was your son!” He stops his pacing and reaches for her, his hands wrapping around her arms and pulling her against him. “He should be yours - ours Lily and I will regret it until my last breath that he’s not.” 

Both breathing heavy with pent up emotion, their eyes locked on one another the pull just too strong to resist Canes mouth crashes agains hers. Lips locked their kiss filled with longing as they try to relay how they’re feeling with out words. 

Too soon Cane breaks the kiss and pressing his forehead to hers he says breathlessly, “He could still be yours, we don’t have to lose everything that we built together, if we were to try there are options like adoption...”

“Cane....”

“Wait Lily please don’t say anything yet just think about it as a possibility. The divorce is on hold, we are both miserable without each other and I miss Charlie and Mattie so much...I have never for one moment stopped loving you...please if there is any way we could try again please...”

Lily pulls away, her eyes full of unshed tears. “I...I should go...the kids will be getting up in a couple of hours...”

“Lily...”

“I’ll think about it, I can’t promise anything else.” Then she slips out the door and is gone.