Written April 5th - May 6th '08 Part One

A Conversation, A Confession!!

Cane hung onto his cell phone like it was a life line. He checked it again for what seemed like the hundredth time but still no call - no text from Lily. "Well ladies and gentlemen cause the hour is so late I think we should wrap this up by turning to the numbers on page six. Oh, I'm sorry I mean page eight..."

Lily sat in her room, clutching the pillow to her. Shock and disbelief was written all over her face. She saw nothing in the room - nothing but positive sign on the test she had just taken sitting on the table in front of her. She picked up her phone and dialed...

Cane was packing up his papers and saying 'goodnight' to the clients trying to make his exit as quickly as possible to get back to Lily. The last one had just left the boardroom when his phone finally rang...

He glanced at the call display and answered before it even had a chance to ring a second time...

"Lily?" Silence. "Lily are you there?" Silence still. "Please, Lily say something. Are you ok?"

Finally an answer. "Cane, I - we," Lily let out an uncontrollable sob. She couldn't get the words that were going to change their lives forever past her restricted throat.

"Lily hang on. I am on my way. It will be ok." Cane closed his phone and he knew without a doubt that Lily was pregnant. So many emotions were coursing through him. He grabbed his jacket and hurried from the room...

Cane made it to the campus house in record time, he was lucky that he hadn't gotten a ticket, he had gotten there so fast. He knocked sharply on the door. Devon answered moments later...

"Cane. What are doing here?" Devon stood in the doorway blocking Canes entrance waiting for his answer.

"I need to see Lily. Where is she?" Cane said while trying to see around Devon.

"She is upstairs in her room. She is not feeling well." And the look he gave Cane spoke volumes. It said that he had a pretty good idea as to why she wasn't feeling well and it did not go unnoticed by Cane.

"Please Devon, I really need to be with Lily right now. She needs me." And Cane grabbed Devon by the shoulders and started to move him out of his way but before he walked by he continued,
"Devon, I love your sister - please believe that. Our lives are about-" But Cane stopped himself from going further. He had to be with Lily right now, they could talk things out with their families later. Lily was his top priority at this moment. And with that he headed for the stairs and up to Lily's room as quickly as he could.

Devon closed the door, lost in thought. He did not doubt the love that Cane had for Lily. He just hoped that it was enough...

There was a soft knock on Lily's door followed by Cane's muffled voice. "Lily?" He opened the door to find her still in the chair clutching the pillow to her chest. He shut her door and came round to kneel in front of her...

"Lily?" He said again softly. Cane reached out to gently cup her cheek in his large hand. He lifted her face slightly until her gaze met his and the tears that filled her eyes spilled down her face. His heart tore from his chest. "Shhhh," he whispered wiping at her tears with his thumbs. Ever so gently he brought her out of the chair to cradle her in his arms as he knelt on the floor...

"Cane, I- This can't be- I can't be-"

"Lily," Cane kissed her temple and continued to hold her close. "It will be ok. We will be ok."

Lily tried to pull out of his embrace. "How can you say that? It's not ok. It's the furthest thing from ok. How can you be so calm about this?" Lily said as she looked at him with anger and disbelief sparking her gaze.

Cane looked deeply into her eyes daring her to look away. "You think that I am calm?" He asked softly. "Then I must be covering it well. I am in shock, Lily. It is something that neither of us planned on, something that we haven't even talked about but now that it is happening, well-"

"Cane are you trying to tell me that you are ok with this? Because I am not. I am not ready. We aren't even living together yet."

"We could change that. It something that I have been thinking about lately."

"What? Weren't you the one who said that wasn't a good idea just a few weeks ago?"

"Yes but these are different circumstances. I want to be there for you. I want to look after you." Cane could see her anger and disbelief growing. This wasn't coming out right. Cane took a mental step back and tried again.

"Lily, I love you. I know how scary this is for you, it's scary fro me too but-"

"Wait just a second," Lily said as she broke away from Cane's grasp and stood up before him. "Now you say you love me? Now?" Lily was spitting mad. She couldn't believe that after all this time that this would be the first time she would hear those words that she was longing to hear so much.

Cane stood too and put his hands on her shoulders trying to calm her. "Lily listen to me. The baby has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I have shown you how I feel over and over again. And you're right I probably should have said it before this but I honestly thought you knew how I felt." Cane thought for a moment and said, "listen ask your father. I told him ages ago when he asked me how I felt about you. But he warned me not to throw those words around lightly especially when it came to you and well I guess I really took that to heart and kept silent. I regret that now."

Lily put her hands to her cheeks and took a couple of deep breaths before she said, "this is all so overwhelming." She stepped out of Cane's embrace. "I - I need sometime alone. I need to think."

"Lily, please."

"Cane. Please understand. I need to process all of this." Lily grabbed her jacket. "I am going for a walk. Please give me this time." And she turned to leave.

"Lily I really do love you." Cane said with conviction to her retreating back. And as much as it hurt him to do so he knew that right now Lily didn't want him here when she got back. He would respect her wishes. He would give her the space she needed - for now. Cane rubbed a hand over his face, Lily wasn't the only one with a lot to process. Cane had a lot of things to think about and a lot of decisions to make...

Motherly Advice!!

Lily hit the sidewalk at a brisk pace. She let the cool night air wash over her, cooling her heated cheeks and calming her churning stomach. She let the conversation between her and Cane run through her mind over and over again. He loved her. Lily realized now that Cane was right she had known that he felt that way about her, she just wished he had said it before now. Would she ever know fully if she had forced his hand or would she always doubt the true authenticity of those words...

Her feet ate up the pavement quickly before she realized it she found herself in front of the GCAC. Lily hoped it wasn't to late, she really needed some advice right now. More then ever she felt the absence of her mother. Lily headed inside and up the stairs towards a door at the end of the hall where she stood for a moment and taking a deep breath she knocked...

Sharon and Jack had been relaxing talking about where they were going to live when there was a knock at the door...

"Who could that be at this late hour?" Jack asked Sharon.

"I don't know, but I will find out," she said as she got up to answer the door...

Sharon opened the door to find Lily looking as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. "Lily? Are you ok?"

Tears once again flooded Lily's eyes. Jack had come to stand behind Sharon concern filling his face.

"No Sharon, I am not ok. I am sorry to bother you both so late but I really needed someone to talk to and Colleen had mentioned that you were staying here now so I took a chance and-" Her words caught on a sob.

Jack realizing that Sharon and Lily needed sometime alone said, "I am going to head down to the gym and put in a late workout. I'll leave you two ladies alone so that you can have a chance to talk." He grabbed his workout bag that was by the door and with a soft 'thank you' for understanding from Sharon he closed the door behind them and left them alone.

Sharon put her arm around Lily's shoulder and escorted her to the couch where they sat down facing one another.

"I am really sorry to interrupt your evening Sharon but I didn't know where else to go. I really need my Mom right now and you were her best friend so I thought, maybe you wouldn't mind listening to me. And maybe just maybe you would be able to tell me what to do." And the tears that Lily had been fighting to hold back came...

Sharon was deeply concerned. She wrapped her arms around Lily and said, "oh, sweetie. You know that you can tell me anything. I told you that myself after you lost your Mother, that I would always be there for you in anyway that I could. Now Lily please tell me what is wrong."

Lily opened her mouth and the words that she never thought she could say tumbled past her lips. "I'm pregnant."

Sharon was prepared for the worst but even she was taken back by Lily's words. "You are? Are you sure?"

Lily shook her head yes. "I just took the test a couple of ours ago. We just found out."

"We?"

"Yes, I just told Cane. I still can't believe this is happening." Lily looked straight at Sharon and said, "we were so careful Sharon. I don't know what to do."

Sharon knew she had to tread carefully here when she asked. "And Cane? What does he think about all of this?"

Lily took a deep cleansing breath and the slightest of smiles touched her lips when she said, "actually to be perfectly honest he has been really supportive. Even when we were just thinking it was a possibility as to why I haven't been feeling well he was a pillar of strength and calm. And now that it has been confirmed, I think he really wants it. He is not packing his bags and hitting the road anyway."

Sharon's feelings about her own past bubbled to the surface when she asked her next question. "And what about you Lily? Do you want to have this baby?"

Lily looked Sharon straight in the eye. Her hand unconsciously slid to cover her stomach. "I don't know Sharon. I am so freaked out right now. I am only twenty years old. I am not ready to have a child right now. But at the same time I can't imagine ever getting rid of it. I am so confused."

Sharon looked at Lily thoughtfully for a moment before she spoke. "You know about my past and what I went through with Cassie and I have to tell you Lily I was even younger than you when I had her but even though she is gone now-" and tears filled Sharon's eyes as she spoke, "I wouldn't trade a moment of the time that I had with her. You will be ok Lily, whatever you and Cane ultimately decide, you will be ok."

Lily hugged Sharon tightly. "Thank you Sharon, thank you so much for listening to me. I just really-"

"I know sweetheart. I could never replace your Mothers advice but I feel so honored that you would think that I could even try. You should go home and get some rest. Let it all sink in, Lily. Although I don't know him very well from what I have seen Cane is a good man and from the way I have seen him look at you I can tell he loves you very much. I don't think he will let you down."

"Thanks Sharon. This has meant so much to me," Lily said as she and Sharon got up and walked towards the door.

Sharon touched Lily's shoulder and turning to face her she said, "Lily please don't be a stranger. If you need anything, anything at all please don't hesitate to come and see me again. I'm here for you." And the two women hugged once more.

"I will Sharon. Thank you." And with that Lily left the room to head on home and as Sharon watched her walk down the hallway she hoped that Lily would be ok...

Cane Confides!!

Cane had arrived back at the mansion but he couldn't sleep, he was to wound up to sleep. To many thoughts were running through his head, to many emotions were coursing through him. Lily was pregnant...

Even though this had been his home for a year now he felt out of place, he felt antsy. He had spoken to the contractor that was finishing up painting and the small changes that Cane had wanted done before he moved into his new condo but it felt like it was taking forever. He wanted to be in his own place now more than ever and dammit if he were to admit the Gods honest truth to himself he wanted Lily there too...

He knew that Lily wanted and needed some time alone to process all of this but he missed her and with everything that was going on he wanted to hold her, to kiss her and reassure her that everything was going to be ok. Cane resolved himself to the fact that he wasn't going to get any rest anytime soon, he just had to much going on in his head so he decided to go down to the GCAC and see if he could blow off some steam in the weight room or with a game of basketball. He grabbed his keys and headed back out the door...

At the GCAC...

Cane had found the weight room to stifling tonight so he found himself at the basketball court where he came upon J.T. shooting some solitary hoops...

"Hey J.T. want to play a game of one on one?"

"Hey Cane. Yeah that would be great. I had another late night at Newman and I was just blowing off some steam before I headed on home."

They started there game of twenty-one with Cane tossing in the ball and J.T. on the offensive. He easily passed him and got the first point. Cane tossed in again and again J.T. easily got the point. J.T. knew something was up so he called, "time out."

"What is with you man? You never let me get the goods on you that easily. Are you ok?"

Cane hadn't realized that he was being that obvious and he grunted in response. He had talked to J.T. about impending fatherhood before but now that it was about to become a reality he didn't know quite what to say. So Cane decided to bite the bullet and just tell J.T. the truth besides he really did need someone to talk to.

Cane looked at J.T. and he knew that something major was going on with his friend.

"What is it Cane?" J.T. asked again as he motioned for Cane to sit down with him on the bench and take a break.

"I just found out that Lily is pregnant," Cane said as he sat down beside him.

J.T. knew that Cane wanted to say more so he sat silently and waited for his friend to continue.

"I know that we have talked about children before and I told you that I was all for becoming a father when I found the right woman..."

"And have you?"

Cane looked at J.T. for a moment and then nodded his head. "Yeah man, yeah I have. I love her and even though we hadn't planned on this happening for quite sometime, now that it has happened and it has started to sink in - well I couldn't be happier really."

"And how does Lily feel about this?"

Cane ran a hand through his hair as he thought about how to answer that. "Umm... she is really scared and she doesn't think that she is ready. She asked for sometime to herself to think about everything."

"Well I could understand that. After all Reed was a big surprise to Victoria and I and it took me a little while to wrap my head around it. But when I did, I couldn't be happier and now that he is here and doing so well I can't imagine my life without him."

Cane let out a breath he'd been holding in. "Yeah well I told Lily that I would support her in whatever decision that she wanted to make and I will. I will be there for her no matter what."

"Well and this is just my opinion because I have known Lily for ages but I can't see her wanting to do anything rash. Her family values are to strong for that. I just think that this has come right out of left field for her and she just needs sometime to come to grips with all of this."

J.T. gave Canes shoulder a ruff squeeze and said, "it will be ok, man. Just give her the time that she asks for."

Cane nodded his head in agreement. "Thanks J.T. I really needed that."

"No problem. Now lets get back to the game and blow off some steam."

Cane gave into his first smile all night. "Ok you're on." And the two men threw there energy and emotions into the game...

Two Long Days Later!!

Cane was exhausted. He had barely slept. Lily was all he could think about. He knew that she needed time and he was determined to give her whatever she wanted. But it was taking its toll on him.

Luckily he was finally able to move into his new condo so he just threw himself into the task of moving. Cane was just starting to unpack yet another box when there was a soft knock at his door. Putting down the mug that he was unwrapping he went to answer it, his chest tightening with anticipation and hope that it was Lily behind that door...

He opened his door to indeed find Lily standing hesitantly on his doorstep. She looked so small and fragile standing before him that he desperately wanted to wrap his arms around her but he held back. If this was going to work she had to make the first move...

"Hey," Lily said softly.

"Hey yourself," replied Cane.

"May I come in?"

Cane let out the breath that he had been holding and said, "of course." As he stepped aside to let her pass...

Lily looked around as she entered. The place looked a lot different from when Cane had brought her here a few weeks ago. It was amazing what a few adjustments and a coat of paint could do to a place she thought.

"The place looks great. You must be really happy to finally be getting settled in here."

"Funny but I thought I would be happier but there still seems to be something missing." This last part was said as he looked her directly in the eyes.

His intense gaze was too much for Lily and she looked away first, her gaze once again darting around the room.

Cane took a step towards her. "Lily..."

Lily had taken a step towards him. "Cane..." She said at the same time.

Just then Lily's phone went off. She reached for it.

"Don't answer it, please Lily."

"It's not a call," she replied as she looked at her phone. "It's a reminder alarm."

"A reminder for what?"

Lily sighed. "It's a reminder from Chloe that I am to be at the airport in an hour."

"The airport?" Cane asked confusion lighting his face.

"Don't you remember? I have to fly to L.A. I have a photo shoot at Forrester tomorrow."

"But I had thought. I mean in light of this situation that you would have-"

"That I would have what? Cancelled?"

"Well yes," Cane said as he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets to keep from reaching for her.

Lily stiffened. "Well you thought wrong. I have an obligation Cane and I am not going to let everyone down."

Cane looked at her intently. "What about your obligation to us? We really need to talk about this. We are going to have to tell our families eventually."

Lily softened and she finally closed the distance between them. Touching his arms gently she said, "we will. I promise, we will. I just need a little more time. Please Cane."

Cane reluctantly agreed but with conditions. "Lily I want you to take it easy on this trip. Please try to keep your stress to a minimum." And kissing her ever so gently he continued, "and please don't let Chloe run you to ragged."

Lily returned his kiss, grateful for the reprieve. "I promise but I really have to get going. I will call you later." She turned to go.

"Lily?"

She turned back.

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too. Bye."

As Cane watched the door close behind her, he still didn't feel right about her going. He sighed and thought for a moment that maybe now wouldn't be such a bad time for him to take a trip to L.A. as well. And he reached for his phone to start making arrangements...

L.A.!!

The flight took forever. Lily wondered if she would ever get used to being nauseous all of the time. But her nausea was made worse by a constantly harping Chloe, still bitter from being put in her place by Nikki and David. She took it out on Lily...

"God, Lily you look awful. What is with you? You know this shoot for Forrester is a major deal, you better not mess this one up. It was bad enough when I had to wallow at Gilles feet in utter humiliation when you and your - uh boyfriend made me cancel that shoot. You're just lucky you still have a shoot to go to in my opinion."

Lily, fighting her churning stomach did not feel like listening to Chloe for a second longer so she said, "no Chloe. I think you are the lucky one. Mrs. Newman told me what you said when you barged into her office. It sounds like you are the one who is hanging onto her job by a thread. So I would watch what you say to me Chloe. Now if you will excuse I really need to use the washroom." And with that Lily put down her bag and got up from her seat. She skirted by Chloe trying very hard not to touch the woman she had come to despise...

Chloe crossed her arms and huffed in her seat. Glaring at the vacant seat left by Lily she spied her bag and a book that was peaking out of the top. Peering up the isle to make sure that Lily was out of sight, Chloe reached over and slid the book from Lily's bag. Realization dawned on Chloe's face as she read the title: PREGNANCY AND WHAT TO EXPECT. Chloe slid the book back to where it was and sat back in her seat. A small smirk lit the corners of her mouth as she began to think how she could use this new piece of information...

At Forrester Offices...

Lily and Chloe arrived to be greeted by Eric Forrester himself.

"Lily Winters, what a pleasure it is to meet you. And if I may be so bold as to say your pictures do you know justice - you're even lovelier in person. I look forward to having you on this campaign."

Lily blushed at the compliments. "Thank you Mr. Forrester, you are to kind. I too, look forward to working with your company. I have heard great things."

Chloe butted in. "Yes hello Mr. Forrester. My name is Chloe and I am Lily's fashion coordinator. I am a huge, huge fan of yours sir and I look forward to working with you."

Eric barely spared her a glance. "Uh...yes, Cleo is it? My secretary will be happy to show you where to go. Lily why don't you come with me to my office and we can discuss some of the details about the campaign. How is your father by the way?" Eric asked as he put his hand at Lily's back and escorted her down the hall towards his office...

Chloe watched them go and her face fell but her eyes glittered. Eric's secretary was waiting to take her to where the clothes were being set up to choose from. "Cleo, if you will fallow me?"

"It's Chloe," she snapped at the unfazed woman. Then she stomped off after her...